Back to work

Last week, with two months of guilt-free lie-ins and full-time gardening behind me (for the last time until retirement), I approached the new hospital in a state of gloom. Northumbria Specialist Emergency Care Hospital (NSECH) opened while I was off, so I returned to work at a completely different place, just to make the transition extra-relaxing... It's a rather swizzy new place; it looks very clean and feels mainly empty, which I quite like. 

Swipe card difficulties and forgotten ICE passwords aside, it's all going rather well. I'm doing a phased return, which means I'm doing half my shift lengths for the first couple of weeks. This is really helpful, as it's rather tiring jumping back into the working world. I still struggle with all the things I used to struggle with, but I can tell already that it's slightly easier, even 6 weeks in. (I have also found that - as usual - cake makes everything better. Particularly this Mary Berry one but with rhubarb instead of apples.)

Things I have done so far:

Talked to patients - I should point out that this has always been fine. Wherever I work (GP, A&E, CotE, haematology etc) I always start with a spiel: "Hello, I'm Roz, I'm one of the doctors; I can't hear too well/my hearing's terrible*, so I lipread people, but we'll be fine!" then finish with a winning smile.

*Bizarrely, I don't really like saying deaf or hard of hearing; I think it sounds too serious. 

This works like a charm every time. If I forget to say it I end up having to shoehorn it in later, which gets awkward and makes patients feel bad. I also feel like it shifts a bit of responsibility for the conversation onto the patient; they know what they have to do to help me hear them, so they do it. 

With the implant I find I'm not having to ask patients to repeat themselves as much, which is a bonus. 

Stuck various types of needles in patients -  fun as always

Written lots of discharge letters - not as fun

Looked at lots of phones ringing - and thanked God I can't actually answer them. (I have yet to try doing any phone calls really - unless you count Janet ringing me, saying a random word like "monkey" and hanging up. I live in fear.)

Written notes on consultant reviews /ward rounds - I hate this. I really hate this. Possibly because I've always avoided it as much as possible - I normally find a nice colleague and give them the notes instead. I cannot lipread the patient, consultant, +/- some relatives, AND write beautiful tidy medicolegally-compliant notes at the same time. Often I try to listen and then write the notes in afterwards, which only works if we're not too busy. If there are a zillion patients to see and a mumbly consultant I just run away and do jobs instead. 

Because I'm still not really at the stage where I can hear without lipreading, I still struggle writing notes. But I feel a little more confident and am trying to give it more of a go! (I WILL OWN YOU, CONTEMPORANEOUS HANDWRITTEN MEDICAL NOTES.)

Followed a lot of handovers  - without too much difficulty, despite approximately 1000 phones ringing at the same time. I use my usual tricks of sitting where I can see everyone, and using the board as a guide, as well as peeking at colleagues' handover sheets. It is SO much easier to hear in noise with my new high frequencies - it really brings speech out from background noise.

Sometimes I take my implant off my head when following a conversation, just to see what it's like. I just can't believe how flat the sound goes! It's as though someone has taken all the sound I get, chopped the top off it and given back the bottom half. I cannot fathom how I have managed with bottom-half sound all my life. I love noticing things like how people say their "s"s (yes, "sausages" is still my favourite word). I can sometimes pick up words and phrases without lipreading. I tried on a ward round yesterday and heard the consultant say "and how is the constipation?" 

Just as parents don't see how much their children grow from week to week, I don't notice how much I'm improving gradually from day-to-day. But I do suddenly notice the things that I pick up without lipreading, or when people point out to me how much better I'm following them. For example, today we went to Janet's to watch Wimbledon, and I heard my friend Romeela say, "Where's Miguel?" loud and clear - but I was standing behind her at the time! Nearly dropped a strawberry in surprise. 

Another milestone was - of course - Harry Potter related. David read me the whole Forbidden Forest chapter while I lay with my eyes closed and repeated back what he'd said. This was so he knew that a) I wasn't asleep and b) was understanding every word. WITH MY EYES CLOSED! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I still had to get him to repeat some sentences, so the whole process took a bit longer than just listening, but WHOOHOO!

I've not been sure how much to wear my hearing aid with the implant. Obviously for work I need all the help I can get, so I wear both to work. At home I suppose I should be having some implant-only time but it feels a bit of a step-back to remove half of my hearing. I'm not convinced that it matters too much once my brain is past the initial "WHAT THE FLIP IS THIS ELECTRICITY??" stage; plus the end goal is that I wear both together. I'm already really happy to do this, and I know that the sounds will continue to blend until I can't really feel the join between hearing aid and implant sound. Any experts/fellow cyborgs out there - feel free to offer opinions! 

Follow up plans - I've been moving up through my processor volume levels as usual - level 4 tomorrow. I have my 4 week follow up in a couple of weeks (which will be 7 weeks post-activation). They are planning to repeat my BKB sentence testing - how exciting! I see Sandra, my keyworker, the week after. 

Hadrian's wall

Other than working, I have welcomed middle age with open arms by joining the National Trust and going on various fun day trips to places like Housteads and Gibside.... 

Have also grown some peas, beans, rhubarb, a small meadow and procured the best rosebush ever. When can I retire?

David Austin - Lady Emma Hamilton. SMELLS DIVINE