to radio or not to radio

Oh I am slightly hungover - damn that gin and wine. Well what better way to celebrate freedom from cancer and chemo?!

Unfortunately my cancer journey isn't over yet: it appears they want to fry me a little more, as I have been randomised to receive radiotherapy. This makes me feel as though I've sprinted to the finish to find there are another couple of miles to go (uncannily like my first Great North Run experience and just as galling). I went in yesterday with 2 A4 pages of questions - could see my radiologist's face fall as I flourished them. Only kidding - she answered all the questions and was very helpful.

It transpired that I should have 3 weeks of radiotherapy - this, combined with 3 months of ABVD chemo, is the standard treatment for early stage Hodgkin's and gets cure rates of 95%. The other option seems to be a whole 6 months of chemo which is frankly less attractive than eating my own excrement. The problem with running off now after 3 months of chemo is that PET scans are still too new to rely on. Having a negative PET now might not mean that I stay cancer-free forever (now pretty much my main goal in life). The "involved field" will be from just above my heart to the top of my neck, in what I imagine as a sort of upside down house shape.

Side effects I can expect are:

1. HYPOTHYROIDISM - a one in three chance of developing this, 3 to 4 years after radiotherapy ends. This means taking thyroxin every day for the rest of my life. Now call me irrational, but I would have thought that being profoundly deaf and having coeliac disease is enough to keep one busy without having to remember to pop hormone pills every day as well. (Yes I know you could point out that millions of women manage to take the Pill every day but I have the organisational skills of a brain-damaged gnat. Also somehow there is something less voluntary about having to take thyroxine to stop yourself becoming fat and toadlike, rather than deciding to go on the Pill so you can have big boobs, not get pregnant and control your periods.)
2. Tiredness - will come on towards the end of the 3 weeks and shouldn't last too long. i.e. I should be OK to go back to medicine at the beginning of September.
3. Difficulty swallowing due to sore throat (radiation-fried oesophagus) - should last a fortnight or so after radiotherapy stops. This might mean a temporary soft food diet and avoidance of spirits (SHOCK HORROR WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT GIN??) and spicy food (that I can live without, having put myself off curry by foolish gorging on chemo days).
4. Possible increase in risk of breast cancer: I will have to go into an early breast cancer screening programme if my boobs end up in the firing line. Wonderful: more opportunity for hypochondria.
5. Sunburnt looking skin in the treatment area which should fade afterwards.
6. Possible dry mouth

I then asked the radiologist if I could transfer to Nottingham to have my radiotherapy, as almost no-one will be in Newcastle after mid-July and I refuse to go and get fried for 5 mins every day if I have no-one to come home and whinge to about my neck hurting. It was at this point that our differences in viewpoint became rather marked; she didn't seem wildly excited by my proposal and said it would be easier if I stayed in Newcastle... but then after further begging she softened and tried to get hold of some Shottingham radiotherapist. Alas, he didn't have a pager and all attempts failed, so she said she would send an emergency referral by fax. I was supposed to hear by the end of today (by email) of the plan for next week. No email is forthcoming so I shall be chewing my fingernails all weekend.

I reeled out of the radiation department teetering on the verge of tears, and made a beeline for the Macmillan Cancer Services department. I tell you now - Macmillan Cancer is the best thing since sliced bread. The man who greeted me was friendly and helpful and walked me through the reasons for my aversion to radiotherapy, and then gently pointed out that it seemed wise to maximise my chances of cure as much as I possibly could. So if you haven't guessed from the general tone of this post, I really am veering towards radiotherapy. It sounds better than more chemo any day. If you are thirsty for more information on radiotherapy, Macmillan have a good section on their website. I also found this post by Jamie Ross to be very informative as well as improbably funny.

Now am off to stir my strawberry icecream. Well I have to pass the time somehow... why not by more cooking!?