ribbit ribbit

Say hello to the frog in my throat:


He's not as cute as he looks. Little bastard.

Actually I tell a lie: there was a frog in my throat until a few days ago when he was replaced by the lovechild of Jaws and a mincing machine. Now my every gulp cuts like a knife as various inflamed structures rub together, then I can feel each bolus of food inching its way down my radiation-irritated oesophagus. Unfortunately I'm still ridiculously greedy and haven't yet learned to take smaller mouthfuls, so I suppose it's all my own fault. Also I refused to give up gin and wine until it got really bad. Now I am teetotal (nearly. I still have the odd spritzer or weak G&T. It is the holidays, after all.)

I've been given some oxetacaine (anaesthetic) to drink 20 mins before meals. It tastes like toothpaste and to be honest I don't notice that much difference to the pain. Gargling with soluble paracetamol seems to take the edge off though, and I've become slightly addicted to Strepsils Extra. Am also self-medicating with frappuccinos (definitely the most exciting way to get a morning dose of caffeine.... yesterday I accidentally leant on the pulse button while the lid was off, and thus gave myself a coffee facial and redecorated the kitchen, to brother's amusement). Breakfast is now a smoothie and lunch tends to be soup/scrambled eggs/something squashy, and dinner follows a similar pattern. Lots of lasagne, risotto, banana custard, and icecream - am not complaining.

I had my 13th treatment today - it was exactly the same as all the others, except for seeing a dietician afterwards. This was a slightly pointless exercise as I am apparently the perfect weight (well I beg to differ - have you SEEN the size of my arse??) and doing rather well, though I should remember to take my painkillers before meals. I confess I have been lazy in doing this but apparently it will make a big difference. I have no other side effects as yet apart from a bit of redness around the clavicles. Not tired yet. Nope. No sirree.

Oh and today I finally plucked up the courage to ask if I could take a photo of the torture chamber:
but this photo simply doesn't convey the impressive majesty of the machine, especially when you have your head bolted to the bench below and the thing is slowly and menacingly revolving around you. Though I am now so used to the mask that I start to have a little doze as soon as they bolt it on.

I have to say, being irradiated in Newcastle has been a far cry from the lonely existence I imagined I'd be leading - have had Gaita around (see ratatouille below), visits to Mavis and her lovely friends, a cinema trip to see Coco avant Chanel, a sunshine risotto with Zoe (mmmm - roasted butternut squash, goats cheese and fresh sage. That girl is a genius.)

ratatouille and G&T - two of my favourite things

Then after Edward's birthday celebrations......the Swiss Family Mad arrived from Nottingham, took over my house and drank all my maple syrup. Despite this we had good family banter: a trip to Craster, lots of banana splits and a night in watching The Others and scaring ourselves silly. Now my grandparents have caught the torch of Entertaining Roz and are holding it high (mainly by feeding me - we had stewed Victoria plums with vanilla cream tonight. arf arf. They slip down nicely).

I only have 2 more treatments left and I'm getting the train down to Exeter after the last one next Tuesday - if I don't update before then, you can rest assured I am FINALLY getting a holiday down in Tuckenhay: swimming, hanging with the family, eating and boozing (throat permitting), bugging Georgina, and generally chilling aahhhht. It's been a while since I've totally relaxed and I am really looking forward to it.

Will probably be back on before then though, just for another delicious soft-food update...