3 cocktails + chemo = possible bad idea

Mmm have arisen deliciously late on this fine Sunday morning - almost feel back in the student loop again! Having a great weekend so far, and is lovely to return to the bosom of the flat and see everyone. I came back up to Newcastle on Thursday night ready for bloods on Friday morning, which were pretty low: monocytes of 0.2 or something. SO I have a fresh supply of tasty G injections....am getting pretty good at injecting myself now! I have 3, so the last one is today at 12.30. I had a bit of backache and femur-ache last night, and got a little tired, but that was pretty much it. Definitely not as bad as I was expecting from the first time.

Side effect profile so far (for other chemo-gobblers and those interested):
1) Hair - still there (in its present incarnation, i.e. pink short fluffy).
2) Tired - nope
3) Constipation etc etc - nope
Basically am back to normal, as usual just before the next chemo. I don't know how most people are affected by ABVD but I honestly am not finding it that bad. OK, I feel slightly crap and almost hungover for the first few days after, but by a week after am practically back to 100%, though maybe with slightly less hair. People keep telling me I look very well and seem faintly surprised that I'm not a bald vomiting sleepy wreck with skin hanging off my bones. I too am surprised - was fully expecting that by now! I think there is a psychological component to a lot of chemo: if you expect to feel dreadful then you will, and if you trust whole-heartedly in Ondansetron you will be FIIIINE. Perhaps a bit simplistic but it seems to work for me!

After Monday I shall have a real go at trying to describe how chemo makes you feel; as Jenny Goellnitz says, "It’s very difficult to describe exactly how you feel on chemo. I’m a lawyer, so I write descriptions and explanations of things for a living, and even I have trouble articulating what chemo was like. It was sort of like a cross between having a stomach flu and just being completely out of it, like you didn’t even really care you were alive."

OK I don't agree with the last part (I certainly care about being alive) but it is darn hard to explain. And "feeling bleh" probably is the best way to describe it so far. Really, all this waffling about it makes it sound worse than it is. The hardest part is getting over how the word "CANCERRRRRRRRR" sounds, and the word "CHEMO" - they strike fear into the hardest heart don't they?!?

Back to this weekend; have had the usual good FOOD including:
ratatouille with Jenny, Janet's chili con carne, butterscotch apple pudding (think I need to work on this one but it tasted OK), a full English breakfast at Jesmond Dene House for Shal's birthday, Dave's yummy Moroccan lasagne and oh dear lord his TONKA BEAN CHOCOLATE POTS. I still have no idea what a Tonka bean looks like but the recipe is below. Seriously easy and seriously good.

350ml double cream
100g good dark chocolate
1 tbsp sugar
5 tonka beans (a vanilla pod would probably work just as well, but you can apparently get tonka beans from www.thespicespecialist.com)
dried orange zest (think this is more potent than fresh but by all means try fresh if you're lazy like me).
a cinnamon stick

1) Heat the cream with the spices and sugar. Bring to the boil and then turn right down to tiny simmer.
2) Break the choc into chunks and put in a heatproof bowl over the cream until melted.
3) Strain the cream through the sieve into the melted chocolate, stirring until smooth.
4) Pour chocolatey cream into 3 or 4 espresso cups/tiny wee bowls/mugs if you are a student....you don't need much because it is RICH. *dribbles*
5) Refrigerate for 2 hours to set
6) Allow to come to room temp before serving for max flavour.
7) Eat and weep.

No pictures! Damn my camera for dying!! Just imagine it instead - then make it :D

I have a confession: despite being supposedly teetotal I had 2 glasses of champagne at Shal's breakfast, and 3 cocktails at Erin's birthday....oops. To be honest there is no reason why I shouldn't, and have had no ill-effects, except I feel very guilty towards my poor liver which is probably working overtime..... Though I suppose by now it will have processed all the last chemo and is actually looking for something to do. Anyway, thus socially lubricated I managed to catch up with lots of people and it was great fun bouncing between Mr Lynch's and As You Like It.

The new hearing aids (Phonak Naida V UltraPower) are taking some getting used to - because I can hear higher frequencies I've never heard before, EVERYONE SOUNDS LIKE A SHREW. And background noise - in places like Lynch's last night - becomes this intrusive wall of sound with high pitches screeching across the top like barbed wire. Grrrr. I was mainly relying on lipreading for the whole night. I shall persevere and post back after a week. I have a review meeting about them in a month, thank goodness.

Next chemo is tomorrow - Novocastrians, if you fancy popping in for some cancer banter give me a text/facebook message. Ciao for now and enjoy this mammoth post!! I should probably get dressed....or lie in bed reading The Story of San Michele by Axel Munthe, which was a gift from Gaita as part of her cunning plan to make me go and live in Italy (little does she know that that was my main goal in life anyway).

(token photo - view from Gaita's bedroom window)

P.S. Oh CRAP I forgot to take the Neupogen out of the fridge...oops....oh will just have to have it a bit later. My fault for getting so engrossed in blogging...